My Bipolar Journal - Episode 237

So, it's official.  I'm a freak.  It's ok to be weird and have quirks (even a lot of them), but I am an official downright, altogether, good for nuttin' freak of nature.  So I woke up in the middle of the night (surprise, surprise) to find myself soaked in.... wait for it.... tears and snot. Haha!  You thought I was going to say urine didn't you.  I didn't say this journal was for the faint of heart.  Deal with it.  We all know I don't believe in too much information either, so here goes nuttin'.  I have no idea what I was dreaming about (I have a pretty good idea, but not verified proof), but I was apparently crying in my sleep.  And I don't mean a little boo hooing.  The amount of moisture that was on my face was a full on, all out 8-year-old temper tantrum kind of crying.  I apparently was tossing and turning a bit too.  My sheet and blankets were everywhere and I had to get up to remake the bed.  How freaking lame is that?  I'm pretty sure I can associate this to the time of the month (or year in my case) that it is, but this is getting out of hand.  I have a doctor's appointment for that very thing in a few months and I'm going to downright beg them to take my ovaries, my uterus, whatever it takes to just go through one big change and then get over it.  It's downright useless to me anyway.  The only thing would be coming up with the $4,000 deductible  but I'm gonna try to see what that would take too.  If they'll even let me.  I was told many years ago that I had to wait until I was 35 or had at least 3 children.  Well, I'll be 36 in April.  Let's do this fucking thing already!  CRYING IN MY SLEEP?  SERIOUSLY?  Infuriating.