My Bipolar Journal – Episode 218
September 25, 2008
I want to write, but feel like I’m way behind and it’s too overwhelming. Only keeping up with these statements do any of my roller coasters of emotions begin to make sense. Everything is crazy over the top though all the time right now. Sometimes amazing good and sometimes amazingly confusing. I’m glad that I’m not going with bad though.
There are things about Him that make me so happy and totally do and I have seriously not remembered being this happy in such a long time, but it takes so very meaningless text to throw me back into distrust and jealousy and other things that girls feel that make me mad at girls. I hate even imagining feeling the way I do sometimes, but I can’t stop.
I hate watching you all try so hard to do the same things over and over again…and no I don’t just mean you. I hate watching the same boring story with the same boring Barbie dolls. I hate seeing people try to look exactly the same and walk exactly the same way. I hate watching people fall into boxes… on a hillside… little boxes made of ticky tacky. You get the point. Or you don’t, which makes you gayer. Not the good kind of gay either.
I know better, yet I never do. The logical part of my brain is constantly overwhelmed by the completely faggoty part.
I have better things to say… apparently just not tonight.
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