My Bipolar Journal – Episode 100
August 24, 2007
So, once again I've had to say goodbye to people who are more important to me than a pitcher of cold sangria on a hot day. I think I'm okay with it. I'll probably discover I'm not though. The thing is, I saw this coming for quite some time. The good news is that I got to have the conversation I was waiting for. The bad news is that the conversation went pretty much 100% exactly as I expected it to. Good news: a new lesson learned. Why does it always suck learning a new lesson though? Why are all lessons hard and painful? I know this is very emo of me, but why can't people just die and not give you the option of being rejected and used? Why can't they all just leave us in a sad state of discontent, but leave us feeling that we were at least loved a little.
Why do people just not say what they mean exactly when they want to say it exactly the way they want to say it? Why can't people just hurt each other and then work on it, then forgive each other and get over it? Instead there's this series of games and proper wording. Trying not to hurt each other even when we're hurt. Even I'm playing the game because I'm afraid to let go. It's time to let go.
I am done not following my instincts, but I'm not done following my heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment