My Bipolar Journal – Episode 32
December 27, 2006
Okay, so yesterday wasn't quite the drunken nervous breakdown I was dreading that I had posted although I'm sure it would have entertained me today. I finally had my breakdown last night though, which was sort of horrible and humiliating, but not too bad. It made me realize a lot of things.
First of all, seriously, why do we think its okay to starve people to death. People have asked me what is wrong with my Papaw and I've had the privilege of up until now just saying that he's old. I mean he has some Parkinson's and diabetes and so on and so forth, but basically he's dying because he's old. Now I can say, well, he was old so they decided to starve him to death. "How did he die, Jenn?" "Oh, they starved him to death." People have ways they never wish they would die. Smothering, fire, drowning, etc. Honestly though, I think I would take any of those over starving to death. All of those things take a matter of minutes or hours to die from. Starving takes days. I just hope that the person dying is delusional enough to not notice. Even murderers are given lethal injection, but when old people die, good and honest people, we've decided that the most humane way to treat them is take them off any sort of life support and have them wither away. It's evil. My grandfather certainly doesn't deserve that. Put a needle in his arm and end his life. Then I feel guilty for even thinking that, but this is the most horrible thing I've ever heard of.
I've also realized that I am truly spending too much time giving only a few people no credit for not being there when I call or even feigning concern when I truly have some stellar friends who have been there and stuck around and listen to me babble on like an idiot. They truly deserve a lot of credit, but leave it to me to focus on the few that are blatantly ignoring me. Even Chris has truly stepped up to the plate and been there for me and I will always be grateful to know him.
No comments:
Post a Comment