My Bipolar Journal - Episode 174

My Bipolar Journal – Episode 174

February 5, 2008

Okay, so here we go. I’ve been thinking on this for a long time, but I’ve recently been making a running list of things that really, really, really make me angry. Most of them are commercials. I wanted to focus on the commercials, but lately, I really think there is a more generalized list though. I know I could go back through all my blogs and find things to add, but I think it’s time to make it official.

Things that make Jem angry:

1. Pharmaceutical companies – more directly at the moment – the flu shot. I have only got the flu shot once. That was the last time I got the flu. You are all dumbasses if you go to get a flu shot. If ever there were an example of how lame pharmaceutical companies are, the flu shot is the primary example. You get a flu shot to be shot with a strain of the flu FROM LAST YEAR!!!!! There are about a billion strains of the mother fucking flu and if you had the flu last year, you’re mother fucking already IMMUNE to the flu from last year. Dumbass. Not only that, so is pretty much everyone else, so the likelihood that you’re going to get last year’s flu is pretty much damned near null and void in the first place. You retard. I hate science. Nothing about science interests me in the least and even I know this, yet doctors and engineers and people who have big time degrees line up for the mother flu shot every year for something they barely have a chance of getting anyway because the news told them to.

2. So that brings us to the news. All it’s ever about is people dying and people’s personal lives, which I quite frankly have no interest in. OK, certain things in society effect my life to some point, but I’m not going to let the news dictate which of those things I let take effect in my life. So many people think it’s so damned important because people it is. It’s actually not. I’m serious. Nope. Shhhh… quiet now. It’s not. It’s too damned depressing, it’s too damned biased and if I wanna know the weather, I’ll look out my damned window. Meteorologists use billions of formulas to predict the weather and they’re still mother fucking wrong. I have a better chance of winning the lottery than you do wasting that entire amount of math on what you call weather prediction.

3. People who yell at inanimate objects. I will never understand sports on TV. Now, I enjoy going down to a stadium every once in a while and doing the wave and singing along to take me out to the ball game. I have no particular devotion to one team or another, but I like the atmosphere. When you’re at home, watching it on a box and yelling at a box, I can’t possibly begin to relate to you. I don’t understand what the big deal is about someone throwing a ball and catching it better than someone else. I’m not saying that you can’t like sports, but why do you yell at the damned TV about it? No one can hear you except you and maybe some girl you’re trying to impress with your amazing passion… about a box, but no, I will not turn on the game on for you. They make sports bars for that. I’m a rock bar, not a sports bar. If you don’t want to watch the rock bands, go to a sports bar.

4. Safe Auto commercials – yes, in general, but this new one takes the fucking cake. “The Safe Auto President pulled up to my car and help me.” Really? THE SAFE AUTO PRESIDENT!!!!! OH MY GOD! THAT’S ALMOST LIKE THE REAL PRESIDENT!!!!! They actually use at some type of insurance sales tactic? Are you actually retarded? I don’t want to meet the Safe Auto President. EVER!!! I’ve never heard anyone say, “Wouldn’t be cool if I got into a car wreck and the president of Safe Auto rescued me?” What kind of marketing FAG came up with that amazing skill? Not only that… they have another new commercial with a chick who says, “I have all kinds of tickets and a bunch of accidents, but Safe Auto keeps me on the road.” Well, let me tell ya something. WE DON’T WANT YOU ON THE ROAD YOU STUPID BITCH! You obviously can’t drive. “At least I can still be a crappy driver and endanger lives, thanks to Safe Auto!”

5. Olive Garden commercials – really, the longest slew of really crappy puns and “jokes” since time began. These commercials wouldn’t be entertaining in the 50’s.

6. Every commercial that depicts that every man is stupid and every woman is so much better. News flash… we’re all dumbasses. To all the women who fought for equality and still do, you won! Now we’re all equally ridiculous. This dumbass commercial about cereal where the husband gets the third degree about noticing that the cereal can help with weight loss, the commercial where the husband is doing his taxes and is stuck and didn’t get “people” to help him, the commercial where the wife is on the phone talking about yogurt but he thinks she’s talking about dessert….. gawd…. Get over it. Now those commercials might have been funny in the 50’s, but they’re not now. They’re old, inaccurate, boring and redundant. Get a new schtick asshole.

OK, there is more, but I’m in the middle of trying to not be sick and clean my apartment, which I’ve been avoiding since I’ve been sick.

Another interesting thing that has begun at my house lately. Apparently, the chick downstairs has started taking/performing/learning opera. Now, I have very extreme feelings about opera both directions, but I keep waking up in the afternoon thinking my apartment is haunted while she’s warming up. It’s kind of rad… and spooky.