My Bipolar Journal - Episode 196

My Bipolar Journal – Episode 196

April 12, 2008

I think I’m exploding. Has anyone who hasn’t been involved in an actual explosion ever actually died from exploding? I’m not talking about your heart exploding. That happened to my Great Aunt Clara, so I know it exists. I’m actually just talking about the top of your head blowing off with little smoky aftermaths of nonsense.

I’m exhausted to the point of anger.

I’m tired of everyone with their stupid pictures of them and their significant other as their main pic on their My Space. Let me spare you the agony and tell you now… you are not a cute couple. There. You can pic something else now. So, unless your picture is something interesting, like you tying him or her up in a bondage situation or picking them up by their ankles and swinging them into a wall or in the middle of a huge fight, I’m really bored.

I know I’ve bitched before, but I’m really tired of not having my own problems again. I think I’ve lost my best friend entirely. I’ve gotten my other Best Friend back, but it’s still intermittent. I have other best friends, but again, not everyone is where I need them to be. I’m tired of trying to talk about my problems and suddenly it turns into someone else’s problems or why someone else’s problems are worse and then I end up being the one listening to them.

Most days I like being that person, but not today. I’m only asking for a few days. I’m not even asking for a total give and take relationship. I’m just asking you to take a little. I’m exhausted. I hate you all.