My Bipolar Journal – Episode 197
April 14, 2008
What happened to true love? Loving people just as much for the things that make you happy, but loving those even more for their flaws. Things that make people happy are almost always the same things, but being able to have flaws is truly what makes us all unique. How can we all be so content to just write out everything and leave people alone to wonder what they did wrong, when they probably did nothing wrong in the first place? It’s just that we found something that we couldn’t deal with about ourselves, so instead of accepting it, we push it so far away that it’s non-existent, leaving that person to believe they did something and wonder what it could have been. We even convince ourselves that they did something wrong so that we can cope with abandoning them. Should we go back for even a moment to let them know that we love them and miss them and that we were the ones that were wrong, or will it only hurt more to have to abandon them again?
I’ve found more and more than honesty isn’t a value that I require in people, it’s more of a respect I have for them. I want people to live lives they don’t need to lie about, lives that are full of what other people would call “too much information” and still be able to share it and be proud and just know that it’s them. Some people just haven’t realized who they are entirely yet though and still need to embellish and tell stories about. They just haven’t learned that once they figure out who they are, they can have the life that they thought could never be real and that they only made up in stories about themselves. Who am I to stop them from that? Your dreams and stories you made up can be lived once you’re not afraid to live them, but everyone represses and pretends to fit into this image that makes them unhappy. Some have even convinced themselves that they’re not. It’s sad, but it’s not something that bothers me.
I’m tired, but He keeps telling me it’s not time for bed.
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