My Bipolar Journal – Episode 202
May 5, 2008
I don’t know why, but I’m super pissed off at everyone, even people that don’t deserve me being pissed off at them. I don’t know if I’m pissed at people who are happy or people who are sad, people I’m attracted to or people that gross me out. I have nothing but an overwhelming desire to kick everyone’s ass. You’re not the exception. I’ve decided you’re an asshole too. No reason and I’ll get over it. Be pissed or don’t, it doesn’t change anything.
I’m very tired of feeling too much for people who have chosen to care very little for me. I’m exhausted at helping people out when all they do is expect more and don’t appreciate the things I do for them. I’m horny. I want to have angry sex with someone that has hurt me.
I don’t think my dreams have been going well. Maybe that’s it. I’ve been sleeping too much lately. Maybe I need to do the things that keep me from sleeping again. Lord knows I hate sleeping anyway, but I can’t seem to help myself. It keeps overwhelming me. I sleep too well when I sleep now too. It’s as if He were lying right beside me only I don’t think the dreams are nearly as pleasant.
Don’t feel sorry for me because I don’t want you to be there for me. I don’t want you anywhere near me. I want answers, but I don’t have any questions.
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