My Bipolar Journal - Episode 131

My Bipolar Journal – Episode 131

October 15, 2007

SIX DAYS UNTIL I START FIXING MY SHIT
FORTY DAYS UNTIL RECOVERY

So, I've divided up my "recovery" process into 34 days. I have a doctor's appointment for Wednesday and plan on starting my meds on Sunday. I have trouble starting things in the middle of the week. I'm not very happy about this, but I've never been much of a person to give two shits about myself. I am doing this for everyone I've been making miserable... or everyone that I feel like I've been making miserable. I don't think I'm the right person to make that sort of decision right now.

I've sat all day long in my panties with the exception of one trip to the bank.

I consist of two emotions right now. Anger and crying. I shall track them here:

Things that have made me angry beyond belief for the day: 2

1. Wheel of Fortune - Fuck you Vanna White or Vanna White's replacement. It happened to be on the TV while I was on the phone and they've actually degraded the job of turning letters around. IT WAS BARELY A FUCKING JOB BEFORE YOU ASSHOLES! Now, Vanna walks by and touches the screen, and as Erin pointed out.... you know that it's not even a touch screen. There's some fucker sitting in a booth somewhere FLIPPING A MOTHER FUCKING LIGHT SWITCH when she touches the letters. I do believe that they had this fantastic technology 1983. I don't believe that this was invented prior to the light switch. Couldn't they have done this all along? Assholes. FUCK YOU FUCKING MERV GRIFFIN AND YOUR ASSHOLE FAKE JOBS! I'm not even offended that someone makes money doing it. I consider Vanna to be quite inventive and amazing to sucker these poor bastards into paying her to do this. It's just lame that I live in a world where someone would actually invent this job in the first place. FUCK YOU FUCKITY FUCKERSONS!

2. Sweetest Day - Fuck this so called holiday. What are we celebrating exactly? Being sweet? Name five mother fucking Humans you know that are actually sweet. Most of them are sour and bitter, not mother fucking sweet. It's an excuse some fucking vagina made up because she decided that there weren't enough Valentine's Day's in the year from some poor sap to buy her shit. A lameness that was quickly approached to Hallmark who thought, "Wow! Another excuse for us to draw Humans into some sort of sense of belonging and some sort of 'club' that they can feel a part of and have to buy each other cards for." Fuck you. I'm actually starting a point system for everyone I know. You start with 100 points. If you have bought or even considered buying someone anything for mother fucking Sweetest Day, you are now at 90 points and have earned three FUCK OFFS!

Things that made me cry today: 0