My Bipolar Journal - Episode 135

My Bipolar Journal – Episode 135

October 17, 2007

FOUR DAYS UNTIL I START FIXING MY SHIT
THIRTY-EIGHT DAYS UNTIL RECOVERY

One thing I've realized is that this agoraphobic/reclusism is not my style. I'm all jittery and bored and need to get out. I'm going to attempt to remedy this by going into hiding with a friend for a night. Maybe a bar that we couldn't possibly know anyone at or even just chill at the house and be all silent and drunky. Either way, this is not going to be an easy 38 days. I'm only 3 in. Maybe it will get easier as time goes, but for now, I'm crawling from the inside out.

Things that have made me angry beyond belief for the day: 1

1. The Debunkify Commercials - I am not, have never been and have no intentions of ever being a smoker, but I am personally offended by the one I've seen the most recently. There's a half man/half horse standing with one sign and a Human standing with another. The myth one says, "You aren't addicted to cigarettes if you only smoke at clubs." The Human one says, "If you smoke once a month you have a 50% sign of showing addiction. REALLY!!!!!!! 50% percent eh? Well, you know what? If you get in a car you have a 50% chance of being in an accident. If you fall down a flight of stairs you have a 50% chance of breaking a bone. If you reach for a pen you have a 50% chance of reaching for it with your left hand. FUCK YOU!!!!!!! 50%! 50 mother fucking percent? That's like saying pretty much anything can happen all the time. YOU ARE A BUNCH OF FUCKING ASSHOLES THAT CAN EAT MY ASSHOLE!

Things that made me cry today: 2

1. Listening to "Something Worth Mentioning" and thinking of Him.

2. Looking at new pictures of Him.

Yeah, I'm pathetic. Just like you.