My Bipolar Journal - Episode 57

My Bipolar Journal – Episode 57

May 6, 2007

Okay, Mister Andy, this is not all your fault, but you got my brain thinking (which makes me a bit happy). I've been posting a lot of bulletins lately which is not my usual M.O. I feel an explanation is in order although not required. We still have to make the mental decision to click and read someone's bulletins. Maybe you were all hoping I was more interesting than this. Honestly, I was hoping I was more interesting than this.

I've been going through several things lately:

1) Most heart-wrenching breakup of my life (don't feel bad though, dude. It is what is is.).
2) The most horrible dry spell of booking and promoting (which is what I'm trying to do with the rest of my life).
3) Being stranded without a vehicle, which results in a lack of freedom, which I don't deal with well.
4) The top three resulting in one of the most fantastically awful bipolar episodes of my life, which has turned into a vicious cycle of no one really wanting to talk to me, me not really wanting to talk to anyone else and getting more depressed as that cycle snowballs.

I'm not looking to be felt sorry for either. Dear God, that will only make #4 worse. These are stated points and facts, not cases for me to put emotional retardation out into the public for you to all muse over and give me advise on. If one more person tells me things will get better (while I appreciate your support)... I might just scream.

I'm working through these things and am trying to get back on track, but in the meantime I need a distraction. Henceforth and thereto 1000 question quizzes, me trying new promotion strategies and me blogging more, all resulting in numerous bulletins. I suppose I could fill out all these bulletin quizzes and just keep them to myself. Perhaps it is my "desperate cry for help" or, heaven help us all something more dramatic, which also would make #4 worse since I don't even really want help and I don't really even know why I'm bulletining things or saying half the things out loud that I've chosen to recently. You'd think that the small delete key on my laptop would be so easy to use, but it's not. I'm crazy and God help me if I'm not a bit proud of it. I enjoy the fact that I've gone through a lot of some of the stupidest and some of the most validated things on the planet. I like that I can relate to, seriously.... almost anyone and anything while understanding that I'll never truly get it. Most of these things are things for me to deal with though and I realize that. Those of you who I've made feel like have to "help me deal with them" I do apologize because my expectations are indeed low on that front. I'd much rather be distracted by your problems and how to help you deal with them. That's what makes life feel a bit better for me. Helping other people. It makes me feel more validated and as if I have more of a purpose.

Funny part is, all of those things I just said, I had no intention of typing up. It's turned into a blog which I guess I will just have to turn into one of my "bipolar episodes" in my blog journal.

The main purpose of all of this was supposed to be seeing if anyone had any other bright ideas of how I can solve problem #2. Bulletining a bunch of promotional things can be obnoxious, especially when they are all in a row and especially if you're not only my friend here, but on my Outrageous Productions page as well and also signed up for my newsletter. God, I talk a lot.

So......... point and purpose being...... what are your ideas? What do you think people can do to better promote and get things out there that aren't just the same thing everyone else is doing. I want original, creative ideas, something no one else has thought of before. If I end up using something you have suggested I will find some way to reward you for your genius since mine is running a bit low. Never fear though. I will get it back. Most days I bounce back more determined than ever and eventually I will be that wonderful, manic person that you've all grown to love and drink many, many shots with. ;)

In the mean time, I love you and please forgive me a few more bulletins while I plot the demise of the and anything else that I've been doing that's annoying. Mwuhahahaha!