My Bipolar Journal - Episode 146

My Bipolar Journal – Episode 146

November 5, 2007

So, thinking of an old friend today I added to my thinking on my blog from yesterday. I don’t want people to be free to make their own mistakes. I want to stop them. I’d like to say, “Okay, I’ve realized it and I’ll stop now”, but maybe it’s my unused maternal instincts, but I just can’t do it. I’m not going to sit by and watch people intentionally get themselves in bad situations and not at least say something. I know that everyone is still going to do what they’re going to do, but I’ll be god damned if being a good friend is simply pretending everything is ok when it’s really not. Can’t, won’t and don’t believe I should. I can try to tone down potentially harping on the situation, but my friends keep putting me in this position of giving advice or asking questions. Problem is that I’m honest. I don’t know how to be any less. The few times I have lied it’s awkward, uncomfortable and very obvious. I don’t know how to be any less than me and if people say that they’re my friends then they should accept the honest side of me too. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not shifting blame. I recognize that this is a lot of MY problem, but I can’t fix it right now because I can’t justify it or find a better way, so for that… I’m sorry.