My Bipolar Journal - Episode 104

My Bipolar Journal – Episode 104

September 3, 2007

Wow.... I mean... wow.

What a month it has been. I've been to Nashville, Plainfield, Bainbridge, Louisville, Hazard, Columbus, Knoxville.... and don't forget the six nights a week we're now open at Dirty Jack's. It's been awesome! New friends were made and all sorts of new things... all very positive... have been going on for my bands. Paper Mache just left the midwest and had a good show last night, Pike had an excellent CD release party (that my sorry ass couldn't even attend), After Elvis has new songs recorded and up on their site, Red Dahlia has fallen in love with Bluefield, WV, Another Tragedy has played many a festival in the area, and God help poor Eva Adalai who doesn't even know how much rock she will be bringing when she finally realizes that she should work with me.

I escaped Cincinnati after the Plainfield, IN show. My friend Derek lives about 30 minutes west of the show (which is like nothing out in those sticks) and I took a mini-vacation. It was so awesome. I was out in the middle of nowhere. No one knew I was there but Derek and we did basically nothing. Sunday we did go to Old Fashioned Days and then on a hike. I haven't done anything like that... well, hell probably since the last time I hung out with Derek. He's good people. His parents, Mark and Sally fed us. My only regret was not seeing Clint who absolutely refused to come home before I had to go (long story, but funny on the inside).

I'm still torn on the love of my life thing seeing as how I was so overwhelmingly run over emotionally. That sucks because I'm still in love and still believe it was the love of my life no matter how fake it might have been to him. I kind of feel like Sandy at the end of the summer at Grease, only right after the fair when Danny dumped her sorry ass and laughed at her for being a moron.

It's all part of life though. That much I know. No matter what I decide about this entire thing I know that it's part of my life and it will make me better and make me understand my heroes so much more.

I'm nearly dissolutioned from Chris. Well.... the process is started. He doesn't think that it's very nearly, but the most expensive part of it is over. It may take up to 3 or 4 more months especially since I don't know where I'll be then. The process is started though and considering I left him almost two years ago, that's nearly done to me. He keeps telling me he's marrying someone new, which... whatever.... but I can't rush the system. It will happen when it is time. Maybe I'll die before then and he'll be able to cash in my life insurance which should make him reasonably happy. I hope he does end up happy... but if you know Chris (which most of you do)... we'll see.

Big tours are coming up and I couldn't be more happy, not just to be out and about, but to be home now and have time to prepare, to have the club and know things are going... maybe not well... but the right direction, to have the people in my life that are there and make me smile everyday. I'm happy that even when my heart is sad and things seem rough that I know once and for all that I will absolutely get through it because of the people I know, the people I've known and those of you I have yet to know.

I feel like this is an end of era of some sort because of all the great insanity that has happened, but it's also the beginning of a new one and for that I can't be more happy about any of it.