My Bipolar Journal – Episode 121
September 25, 2007
So, I'm starting to not feel as sick, but I'm still pretty sick. The thing that is destroying me is boredom. I'm not the type of person who can't work. This is how I know I'll make a really terrible old person. I have my dementia all planned out though just in case I would for some terrifying reason live that long. What's even worse is that I have plenty to do and I'm completely lacking in energy to get it done. It's like my brain is just as sick as the rest of me. I can't lay down, sit up or lounge and find a comfortable way to be. My brain can't seem to organize a thought, be content or have enough to do. I'm thinking I'm going to have to go out tomorrow. At least for a little bit. Being bored is so much worse than being sick. I've done pretty good though I must say. I've forced myself to sit here in this apartment and have only left three times... all three for more tissues, different cold medicine, popsicles or... well, my paycheck (hey, I was already out). On my final outing today though I picked up sleepy time pills. I hate sleepytime pills because they always make me feel even worse, but I haven't really slept this entire time and every time I have it's been more awful than the last time, so even though I'm feeling better, I'm taking the highest dosage known to mankind and, well, if we're all lucky and it's what God wants for me, waking up tomorrow.
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